ASK #024 - I'm Back

 I’m Back!!

written: September 20th, 2022

Well I initially thought I would start with an apology for my absence, but decided “NOPE”

Instead I will tell you of my journey since I last podcasted.  It was some time in about mid June that I last recorded and since then much has occurred.  I could think of all that has gone “wrong” or I could just count it all as God’s sovereign plan for my life.  And I choose to go with the second option.  

There are events, activities, plans and simple happenings that occur in each and everyone of our lives.  We aren’t always given a choice as to whether or not we want to have these occurrences happen to us or for us.  However we are ALWAYS given a choice as to how we will respond in such instances.  

So back in June I was teaching for Saratoga Regional YMCA.  I was happy and very blessed with my job.  My coworkers were awesome and my supervisor was on point.  The job itself was “perfect.”  I had hours that allowed me to be able to drop off and pick up my children at school (as I do not live in the school district they attend, this is very important to me and my children).  Plus I was able to “make up” hours at home to still maintain my 40 hour work week by doing prep and planning after picking up my children from school.  So you ask:  What is the problem?  Well there wasn’t a huge problem except that this was just a ten month position so I needed to find work to get me through the summer months.  

So this led me to do some “shopping around” to find the “perfect” summer job.  I looked into everything from tutoring, babysitting, summer camps and everything in between that related to my career choice of teaching and caring for children.  Nothing really panned out in those areas so….

I stretched myself and applied to a local restaurant.  Now I have some restaurant/food service history in my family as my father owned and ran a restaurant business many years ago.  Also one of my daughters was highly interested in culinary so I often found myself “helping” her.  Finally, I had some experience in working in food service when I worked on weekends at a local auction house as a fry/grill cook in addition to doing some counter waitressing.  I really enjoyed that job and thought “heck, why not give that a shot for the summer” So I was hired as a “pizza chef” at a local restaurant.  I was enjoying the job and I gave it my all.  This did not go unnoticed.  Soon after working only a few days I was approached by the owners.  They told me that they would like to speak to me.  My initial thought was “oh boy, did I do something wrong?”  But it turns out they had the complete opposite in mind.  Like I mentioned earlier I had only started there a few days prior to this meeting.  So I went to the basement office and the owner and his wife spoke to me for over an hour.  They filled me in on their past, the past of the restaurant, their plans for the future and finished up this little meeting with an offer to me.  They mentioned how they had been watching me and my work ethic.  They saw my dedication and perseverance in all that I did.  I thanked them and told them that that is the type of person my parents raised.  I was raised to give my all and always do my best in everything I do.  

So you ask….What did they offer me?  Well they offered me a salary that would almost double my current salary.  In addition they offered me the general management position.  They wanted me to become the manager of the entire restaurant.  I was shocked!  Really? Me? General manager? So I told them that I would need to take some time to pray about it and talk with my husband.  They understood and allowed me time to process, talk to my husband and my Heavenly Father.  

A few weeks later I met again with the owners and told them that I would like to accept the position.  They thanked me for being genuine and taking the time to really think and process before jumping into this.  So naturally I gave my two week notice at the Saratoga Regional YMCA.  It was a sad time because for me this was a HUGE career change.  All I had known was teaching NOW I had become a restaurant manager.  WOW!  But I was okay with it because I know our God is a sovereign God and He has a plan for us.  So was this HIS plan?  

I continued with the restaurant through the summer, but as the time went on I began to change.  It was little things at first.  My phone was attached to me.  Afterall, I had to be sure the restaurant was running smoothly when I wasn’t there in person.  Then came the change of my presence.  I was physically there and present for my children and husband, but was I REALLY there?  Then my peace, patience and overall personality began to change.  And it wasn’t necessarily for the good.  In addition to the changes in me there were changes in the expectations of the job.  When I initially took this position I was VERY clear that I was a mom and wife first.  My family is very important to me.  So I made it clear that if I took the management position I would still need the flexibility in my schedule to accommodate my children and husband's needs.  The owners reassured me that this would not be a problem.  Their words specifically were “family comes first” So I was not concerned with taking on the management position until….well reality happened.  The condition of my employment changed.  I was told that as manager I needed to be there to be sure that everything was running smoothly.  Which I understood.  I also was told that I needed to be sure that the restaurant was prepped and ready when opening occurred.  Again understandable.  But what didn’t translate was that the owners expected ME to get it done.  

One of the most important qualities of a successful manager is to delegate.  A manager can not be there 24/7 so they must train and trust others to step up when they are not present.  This is something I was fully capable of doing and I immediately started “trying” to hire help to fill our severely lacking employee base.  In addition I was training employees and creating bonds with those that I could trust and know that things were getting done in my absence.  But apparently this is not what the owners wanted.  They expected me to be there early in the morning to open the restaurant and prep it.  Then stay through closing and be sure it was ready for the next day.  This would have required me to be at the restaurant from approximately 7 am until 10 pm.  Not possible as a sole provider of my children.  Nor is it even humanly possible.  This is how burn out happens.  I was not the only one they required this of.  They also expected me to be the manager but didn't give me the authority to make appropriate changes to staff and policies to make the restaurant run more efficiently and effecitively.  So without going into too many details…I somewhat reluctantly realized this was not the position for me.  

I am not one to typically “Quit” or give up on something.  Initially that is what I thought I was doing.  But after much prayer and consideration…plus hearing from my children and husband that I had changed and not for the good.  I KNEW I NEEDED TO MAKE A CHANGE.

So with all this said it kind of brings you all up to speed with my life these past several months.  

So where does this leave me?  Without a job yet again this year.  Earlier this year I was put in a position where I needed to either stand up for what I believe in and lose my job OR “suck it up”.  I chose to stand firm in my beliefs and this put me without a job earlier this year.  So between that and this current situation I quickly got behind on many bills.  And things could have really stressed me out and made me angry with God.  All of these situations could have easily brought me into depression, made me anxious and caused me to lose my sense of peace.  

HOWEVER… none of this happened.  It brought me closer to my God and Heavenly Father.  It caused me to rely on Him more and I would have never changed a thing.  God puts us in places and situations to help us grow and mature as Christians.  Am I saying God wanted me to suffer like this?  He doesn’t cause us pain, but He does allow things to happen to cause us to grow and mature in our faith.  These are all such instances.

Again I could have become hostile, anxious, angry, depressed, withdrawn…and the list could go on.  But it doesn’t need to because none of this happened to me.  I drew close to God and He drew closer to me.  He was there with me the whole time and never left me side.  At one point I was hoping and praying that I was not drawn to this position at the restaurant in a vain way…aka where I was drawn because of the money.  In case I had been I reached out to God and talked to Him about it.  He then reminded me of this verse…

Hebrew 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Throughout all of these situations God put people in my life to either help me through it or I was there to help them…more often than not I was there for others.  There are several people that stand out in these last few months that I would have NEVER known if I had not been placed in the situations I was in.  God Has a plan and His plan is superior to anything we have planned.  It won’t be easy to follow His plan and sometimes we may find that it is downright difficult.  

I am reminded with the following verse that God is always here with me.  He is there with you.  He is rejoicing with us and he quiets us with His love.  

Zephaniah 3:17 (NKJV)

The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”

He will save…It doesn’t matter where you have been or what you have done, call out to God and he will save you.  

He will rejoice over you with gladness (some versions say JOY)…He has joy in us. Joy is something that comes from deep within us.  It is not something based on circumstances to know that God if joyous over us touches so deeply.  

He will quiet you with His love… we can be quiet (or rest) in His love and have pure peace. We don't have to be anxious or overwhelmed because in His quiet we know that God has a plan and a special time for everything in our lives.  

He will rejoice over you with singing… Singing is a joyous thing.  Yet again the word JOY is mentioned in this verse.  God is full of joy over us and this should bring you great peace and comfort.  

There were many times in the past few months (and my life in general) that I had things all planned out…or so I thought.  But my plans were not always God’s plans.  And as much as I tried to force my plans it didn’t matter. I would plead to God “if I just got this job” or “if I moved here” or “if I just purchased my OWN home”... I needed to relax and call upon the Lord.  In the end it is His plan and His timing that will prevail 

Proverbs 19:21 (NKJV)

21 There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand.

This verse reminds me of this.  That in our heart’s we have things all planned out but ultimately it is God’s plan that will prevail.  So we need to let go and Let God.

So once I came to that conclusion (once again) that I can plan and plead with God all I want…it is His timing and His plans that will give us pure Joy.  It is only in His presence and His path where will can experience life to its fullest.  

Psalm 16:11(NKJV)

11 You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

So take some time to speak to God.  Open your heart and share your desires with Him.  Communicate with Him daily, but remember it is His desires…His plans, and His way that will be done with your life…in His timing.

Keep asking, seeking and knocking and He will open the doors to your heart to see His desires and plans for your life.