ASK #007 - God's Call on a Christian Marriage

 written: December 19, 2021

God's Call on a Christian Marriage

God gives us all a calling on our lives.  We need to open our eyes and hearts to His calling.  Not only does he have a calling on our own individual lives He places several callings on every Christian  marriage.  God has a specific purpose for each Christian marriage in addition to special callings for some marriages.  

When we fix our eyes on Him we can see His purpose for our lives.  

There are several general callings that every Christian marriage has.  

The first of these is PRAYER.  

Prayer is a simple way to communicate with God. 

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

You are to become a praying couple.  It is important to pray as individuals and as a couple.  You should be praying for one another on a daily basis.  If you need help getting started you can use a scripted prayer each and every day.  As you begin to pray for your spouse it will become more natural and things will just come to mind.  However, if you are not at that place yet it is completely appropriate to start with scripted prayer.  

A simple guide you can use is to pray for each part of his/her body.  Start at the top of the body and work your way down.  (Head, eyes, mouth, heart, hands, feet)  When you begin with simple prayers like this you will see and feel God working in your lives.  

It is very important to also pray together.  Take time each day to join in prayer together.  When two are joined in His name there He is among us.  

Matthew 18:20  (NIV)“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” 

This is a powerful verse because God wants us to be in communion with Him and others.  When we gather with others He is there among us.  However we are not to be just gathering together, but gathering in His name.  Declare your purpose and God will honor it.  He will grow your faith and you will experience the blessing that goes with a faithful disciple.  

 

God wants us to simply communicate with Him.  Prayer does not have some formal set of rules.  It is simple and open communication with our Heavenly Father.  It is a time to open our hearts, souls, minds and spirits to God.  And what a better way than to have your spouse be a part of that closeness so that he/she can hear your heart. 

The second calling is LOVE.

Matthew 22:37-40 (NIV) Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Love is not a feeling as the world would like to claim it to be.  It is not all about pretty red, pink and purple gushy hearts.   Love is not an act you reciprocate because someone has loved you.   You are not to withhold love from someone or state that a person is unlovable because he/she is not loving you. Love is not a reaction to something you receive or feel.

Love is a command.  

We are to love our neighbors as ourselves.  When in a Christian marriage your closest neighbor is your spouse.  So we are called to love our spouse as Christ loves us.  There will be times in the marriage you don’t like what your spouse is doing or has said but that is not a cause to stop loving him/her.  Love is a command from the Lord.  In these times we are called to love our spouse more.  Not as the world shows love but as Christ has been an example of love.  His love for us is unconditional.  His love is all knowing.

1 John 4:19  We love, because He first loved us.

Secondly, we are to love our Lord our God.  God loved us so much that He sent His only Son down from heaven to earth for us.  Not only was He sent to show us how to love; He was sent as a sacrifice of love.  

We can use God’s love as an example of how to love others.  We know the depth of someone's love for us by what it costs him/her.  If he/she sacrifices one's own life for us, it assures us of deeper love than if he/she only sacrifices a few bruises. 

Now this doesn’t mean that a person must literally lay their life down for another. But figuratively it means the same.  What is a person willing to do to show his/her love to another.  

We see the depth of Christ's love by the greatness of what it cost Him.  This is also true in all relationships we have with one another, especially in our marriages.   Love is not about giving because we have been given.  Love is sacrificial and we are to love because He loves us.

By loving others as Chisrt loves us we are able to show the world what true unconditional love is.  We need to live our lives as husband and wives in unconditional love to show the world how we are loved by Christ.

Ephesians 5:21-30 (NIV) Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.

 

The third calling in a marriage is that of FORGIVENESS.

Colossians 3:13 (NIV) Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Forgiveness is also a command.  It is not an option.  God commands that we forgive our brothers and sisters as He has forgiven us.  

Who are we to hold anything against a brother or sister in Christ?  It is not our place to judge; Christ is the judge and we will all be judged on our final days.  

It is our responsibility to go to the brother or sister that has offended us to forgive them.  

Matthew 18:15-16 (NIV) “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’  

Forgiveness is a conscious choice we have to make as a Christian.  As stated above, it is a command from our Heavenly Father, however, it is not something that comes naturally.  We need to make a conscious effort to forgive another person when they have wronged us.  

Forgiveness is not for the other person.  So when forgiving a brother or sister you do not need (and should not go to the person and tell them “just so you know I have forgiven you for….”)  

God calls us to forgive those that offend us.  Forgiveness is to make our hearts right with the Lord and give us a sense of peace.  When we leave things unforgiven they just stir in our hearts and minds causing us grief, pain, anxiety and strife. 

Proverbs 17:9  Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”

 

Forgiveness in a marriage is very important.  Afterall a marriage is a joining of two people into one in Christ. 

Forgiveness isn't granted because the other party deserves it.  Forgiveness is given as an act of mercy and grace.

The act of forgiveness opens up a whole new area for a person to draw closer to God.  When we initiate forgiveness we allow for meditation and this opens our hearts, minds, souls and spirits to what has offended us.  Forgiveness will bring you back to God and allow Him to work in our hearts.  

The lack of forgiveness is most dangerous in any relationship but especially in marriages.  This is because a marriage is a devoted and complementary unification between a man and a woman. In this union, the two become one physically and spiritually.  So if one holds back forgiveness on his/her spouse you are ultimately holding back forgiveness from yourself.  Often a marriage will fall apart because one (or both spouses) refuse to let go and forgive the other.    

A marriage can only flourish if you are able to forgive your spouse from your heart. Don’t allow fear or anxiety to cause you to not forgive one another so much that if you forgive the other person you think you are allowing the person to do it to you again and again.  This is the enemy speaking lies into your life.  If you are able to forgive from your heart, you can free yourself from the misery of suffering in unforgiveness.   Forgiveness is for yourself and to draw you closer to God.

Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

The fourth calling on a marriage is TRUST.

You are not called to trust blindly.  When trust is broken we are to forgive, reconcile, and walk toward oneness again.  But we are not to be putting our trust in one another.  We are to put our trust in our Heavenly Father.  We trust that He is working in the life of the other person.  When we put our trust in God we will begin to see how He has a plan for our lives, our marriage and our spouse.  This will allow us to walk in the spirit because we trust God’s way for our lives.  

Proverbs 3:5-8 (NIV) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.  This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

This verse reminds us that we need to lean on God’s understanding, not our own.  We are to seek God’s Word and trust Him with our spouse.  In doing this we will receive freedom.  We need to become one with Christ  and He will allow the oneness to develop with your spouse. 

The fifth calling on a marriage is PURITY.

Hebrews 13:4-8  (NIV) Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

“Never will I leave you;  never will I forsake you.”

So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can mere mortals do to me?”  Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

God declares that sexual relations should be only for a man and a woman in a marriage and should stay between those married people for a lifetime.   God designed sex to be pleasurable, but also instructed that it was reserved for marriage.  This calling is key to being able to have all the other callings in your marriage.  If purity doesn’t exist in the marriage then it makes it hard to have trust,  give forgiveness, pray for and love your spouse unconditionally.  Without purity you are not able to have authority over your marriage or spouse. You cannot lead and encourage others because of the unrepented sin you hold in your heart.  You must willingly repent and turn from your sin of impurity.    

When we think of impurities we naturally are drawn to sexual impurities like pornagraphy, adultry, premarital sex and homosexuality, however, other impurities exisist in relationships as well.  These include self righteousness, pride, gluttony, coveting, gossip, hatred, judgement, music, bad habits and food.  Anything that we go to to “help us” instead of going to our Heavenly Father can cause impurities in our lives.      

It is important to repent and turn from these ways so that you can stand firm in your freedom that Christ has given you.  

Galatians 5:1 (NIV) It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

If you have the Holy Spirit living in you  you have  the power to walk in the freedom Christ has given you. We are called to live pure lives to protect our hearts and marriages so that we can walk in His will and according to His purpose to be disciples for Christ bringing others to His kingdom. 

Finally, the sixth calling is GENEROSITY.

2 Corinthians 9:6-7 (NIV) Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

It is often hard to give generously when you are comparing yourselves to other couples and just others in general.  

You often find  yourself looking at the little that you have and asking “Isn’t giving my time enough Lord?  You see I can barely make my bills, what e;lse can I do?”  

But the Heavenly Father wants us to be cheerful givers and to give from our hearts.  

He understands we have commitments, bills and other things to take care of.  He wants us to put our trust in Him and know that He will take care of us so that we can be cheerful givers and be generous to others in His kingdom.

2 Corinthians 9:6  Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will reap generously.

We need to remember that whatever we have comes from the Lord.  It all belongs to him.   

Christ blesses us on a daily basis.  

Whatever we have is His so what are we going to do with it?  Are we using it for His glory?  Are you being generous with what God has given you for His kingdom: your time, money, house, cars, etc?  Are you trusting God?  Do you say Lord we are open to what you have for us to do?  These resources you have provided to us are yours, what do you want us to do with them to enlarge your kingdom?   

In all we do, we need to be in prayer with our Heavenly Father.  When we are in constant communication with Him, in love, we will be able to forgive one another.  This allows for trust to build in our relationships  both here on earth and with our Father.  Remain pure and be generous and the Lord will richly bless you and use you for His kingdom.  

Romans 12:2 (NIV)  And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Today's focus was on a Christian marriage but these concepts are good for any relationships and friendships in your lives.

Our most important relationship is that of which is with our Heavenly Father. When our relationship with Him is right all our other relationships flow more easily from that example. 

So keep asking, seeking and knocking and the Lord will open the doors and roll the stones away . He will allow and encourage those relationships that will bring Him honor and glory.